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Chapter 2: Improving Your Relationship with Money
Book I
Taking
Charge
of Your
Finances
Do I have a system for paying bills? What is it?
How do I keep track of receipts and tax-related paperwork?
Do I buy lunch at work every day or bring it from home?
Is recreational shopping a favorite pastime? What sort of limits, if any,
do I set for my personal shopping sprees?
How do I decide to make a major purchase such as a car, new furniture,
large appliances, or a home?
How much of my income do I save each month, and what sort of system
do I use for saving money?
What is my philosophy about financially assisting elderly, disabled, or
cash-strapped relatives?
Do I want (or want my spouse) to stay home after we have children?
Is tithing or regular philanthropic giving important to me?
How far in debt can I go and still feel comfortable?
You may well find that your significant other is a spendthrift and you're a
miser or vice versa -- opposites tend to attract each other. One reason oppo-
sites attract may be that on some unconscious level, people are aware of
their own weaknesses and shortcomings and know almost instinctively what
they need to "complete" themselves. If you have trouble keeping to a written
budget, you may choose a life partner whose greatest joy is keeping detailed
written records of every flower growing in the yard or every penny spent on
bubble gum by the kids -- and imagine you balance each other out in the
process. Having differences is healthy, but we also know from experience
that these differences can test your limits of grace and reason.
If you are the spend-a-holic in the relationship and are already convinced
of the need for financial change in your life, the road ahead is much easier.
Unfortunately, reforming a loved one from their spendthrift ways can be diffi-
cult and requires a lot of sensitivity and tact. Don't allow yourself to become
adversarial with the spend-a-holic in your life. Instead, be reasonable and
show how adopting frugal habits can reduce outstanding debt, free up money
for fun activities such as vacations, and help to finance large future expenses
such as buying a house or paying for college tuition.
Identifying long-term goals
You've probably heard the old cliché, "If you don't know where you're going,
how will you know when you get there?" Well, it holds true in the area of
family finances, too. Establishing long-term goals for yourself and your family
helps to keep your current financial picture in perspective. For example, if
one of your goals as a couple is to have a full-time parent at home when the
new baby arrives, you can start cutting back on spending now in order to get
