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Book I: Taking Charge of Your Finances
If you are beyond the talking stage and are in the yelling, crying, door-slamming
stage, consider seeking help from a trained financial counselor with a local
debt-counseling agency. You can contact the National Foundation for Credit
Counseling, a nationwide nonprofit network of Consumer Credit Counseling
Service offices, at 1-800-388-CCCS and www·nfcc·org· The NFCC can put
you in touch with a counseling office near you. Even if you're not dealing
specifically with debt issues, a financial counselor can help you work through
financial planning decisions in a calm, reasonable fashion. Many religious
communities and churches offer free counseling of this sort, too. Just having
an uninvolved third party helping you think calmly through your financial
choices can be tremendously helpful.
Pulling together with your
spouse or partner
If you're the primary money manager in your family, you will probably shoul-
der most of the responsibility for turning your family's finances around.
However, the cooperation of your spouse or partner and family is essential.
Although you may pay the bills each month, you and your spouse or partner
both spend your family's money, so he or she has a very direct effect on the
success or failure of your financial program.
The support and cooperation of your spouse or partner is essential to getting
your family's finances back on track. One of you can't be pinching pennies
while the other is spending like there is no tomorrow. Both of you should be
totally committed to getting out of debt and reducing or eliminating the use
of credit.
You may find that talking about money is easier in a public place, such as a
coffee shop or a park. If a change of venue doesn't improve your communica-
tion, consider scheduling an appointment with a marriage counselor or reli-
gious advisor so you can get at the root problems.
When you talk with your spouse or partner about your debts, try to stay
focused on solutions to your financial problems instead of letting the conver-
sation turn into a blame game. Both of you are probably responsible for your
debts to some degree, and finger-pointing won't pay the bills. Keep in mind
that no matter how hard you try to cooperate with one another, money prob-
lems create a lot of stress in a relationship. We can't offer easy solutions for
getting through the tough times ahead. We can only encourage you to work
hard at keeping your relationship amicable.
